I seriously have like 10 blogs that are half written. From Fauxtography to homosexuality, they are on there way, eventually.
Anywho, Boundaries. Specifically Gods boundaries. Why does He have all these “Do this, don’t do that’s” in the bible? Can’t I just enjoy life the way I want to? Is God trying to rob me of life? Doesn’t the bible clearly say that Jesus came so that I can have life to the fullest?
Having a child really brings spiritual matters into perspective. Specifically, the heart of God. If I feel this much love for Pearl, and want the best for her with all my heart, how much more Gods heart for us? After all, that’s why God set up the family unit. It was designed so that we could see Gods heart for us as His beloved children by example. Unfortunately this example has become horribly, horribly, broken and twisted. But that is a whole different topic. I’m gonna be discussing Gods boundaries in our lives.
Imagine if I let Pearl “enjoy life” the way she would like to right now at her current age. It probably would end in her death. Actually, it would end in death. And what if I never taught her what was safe for her and what wasn’t? What if I set no boundaries for Pearl? She would be an unruly child who eventually would be an unruly adult.
God refers to us as His children throughout the whole bible. We are like children to Him, not only in relation to Him as our father, but our thoughts and minds are very childlike to Him. We are not smart, my friends. We are not wise, we don’t know it all, and we don’t know whats best for us. This is clearly demonstrated in the news. The world is being run by the minds of children. To God, I think we probably seem to Him as Pearl does to me – naive about life, clueless as to what can harm us, often putting ourselves in harms way without knowing, putting others in harms way…the list can go on. Sometimes we harm on purpose, sometimes not. Either way, its clear, we need some guidance as a human race. We need spanked. We need a gate.
Yesterday I finally put up the gate to keep Pearl in a confined area. It was becoming difficult to get anything done. And more importantly, our apartment was becoming dangerous for her. Ironically, all this space she was able to play in was actually becoming pretty restrictive for her. I kept having to stop her from crawling to different places rather then just giving her freedom to roam wherever she wanted because there were/are many things around the apartment that she can be harmed by. She was getting frustrated that I was constantly stopping her. As well, she is pulling herself up on just about everything, including the toilet (gross) and is now in the phase where she puts everything she finds on the floor in her mouth. I pulled a string out of her mouth yesterday. Oh hello old brown piece of banana! Into Pearls mouth you go. Brett and I were chasing her everywhere, so up the gate went.
When she first realized it was up, she crawled over to it, pressed her face up against it, and peered through for a short while. I wondered what she was thinking. Possibly, How come I can’t go over there? Or maybe, Why is this gate here? I’m sure, if she could use words she would ask, “Mommy, can I go over there?” or, “Can you remove this gate, please?” I wonder if she has even thought, Hey! there is my kitty friend. Why can he be there but I can’t? or even I enjoy him and want to be wit him. And I’m sure her curiosity has be sparked at the different items on the other side, What is that toy over there? It looks fun and I would like to play with it.
What Pearl doesn’t realize yet is that the gate is up to protect her – not to restrict her. Do you see the difference? Protection versus restriction? My boundaries provide protection, and within the boundaries I have provided for her, she has full freedom to roam around and do as she pleases. Now that’s freedom! And, I haven’t made life dull for her within her boundaries. I have actually provided some really great activities that are safe for her. I’ve loaded her boundaries up with real toys, ones she can play freely with that wont harm her. On her side, she gets real juice, the good kind that doesn’t poison her. And hello, booby milk. Some things she still has to do with my guidance. For example, one of her favorite places to play is under the table. She may play there sometimes, but it must be under my guidance. So sometimes I still have to tell her “no” within her boundaries. But it’s always for her protection.
I suppose if God could talk to us, audibly, It would sound a bit like what I would want ot tell Pearl about her boundaries if she could understand me fully.
Pearl, you are my precious daughter, and I love you. What you don’t realize is that I set up this gate for you to protect you, not to restrict you. What you can’t see yet is that there is cat litter just beyond this gate. I know you very well, if you happened to discover it, you would most likely eat it and get sick, and I don’t want that to happen to you. Those toys you see are actually not toys, they are items that could harm you if you got a hold of them. I know they look enjoyable, but if used improperly, can bring great harm to you. You are not ready to explore those items yet. In my love for you, I am saying ‘NO’.” Some of these things you may never use. Some, you will eventually be able to use as you mature, learn, and grow. As of now now, the scissors and knife will cut you, you would mistake the detergent for juice and would poison yourself, and you would eat the kitty litter and become ill. I don’t want those things to happen to you. So up the gate goes.
Your kitty friend, I have separated you from him because you frighten him. At this point in your life, you would bring him harm if I brought you two together. It is my love for both you and him that I keep you apart. Until you know how to care for him the way I would like you to, you may not be by him. The gate is now here to protect him as well. Too, Pearl, he does not know how to care for you properly either. He does not know how to be kind to you yet. I don’t want him to hurt you so, until he is ready to be with you the way I think is appropriate, I will continue to separate you with this gate. In time, I will teach you how to care for each other properly. When you have both learned how to properly care for one another, I will remove the gate. I know you really want to be with him. Your heart really lights up when you see him, but this is for the well-being of you both that I keep you apart.
I will not make life for you boring on this side of the gate. I have provided some great things for you do do and pay with over here. Sometimes you miss out on these things that you will love and enjoy because you are too distracted to see them because of the gate. Come look over here. Once you play with these toys, you will no longer be bothered by that gate. And, you will see, that these toys are pretty great. You are free to roam about and play with what you want on this side of the gate. Giving you this gate has actually provided you with freedom. I no longer have to stop you every time you crawl somewhere. You are free to do whatever you want and to play with whatever you want. Isn’t that freeing!? In time you will learn to avoid harmful things, and you will learn to use some of those things properly. At that time, I will remove the gate.
Pearl now has the freedom to roam about freely. She actually has more freedom than when the gate wasn’t there. She is safe and she has freedom to explore as she pleases. This mothers heart is delighted in her freedom and is exhilarated that she is safe. I love her so much!
Brett and I will be providing Pearl with Boundaries until she is ready to spread her wings and fly out of the nest. I set these boundaries for a reason – to guide and protect her. Within those boundaries, I allow her different choices so that I’m not robing her of her independence. Giving her choices within boundaries provides her a safe, stable place to grow, mature, and learn appropriate freedom, and independence is still an option. She is still just learning, her mind is not fully developed, she is ignorant about life and what could harm her, so the gate is a must.
Does any of this feel familiar to you? Does this help shed some light on why God has set some “dos” and “don’ts” in the bible? To take it a bit further: Is there anything out there God has told you “NO”? Is there any one out there God is saying “No” about? To take it even further: Perhaps there are other things, not bible related, that God is telling you “no” to right now. For us, it was Grace and Ellie. Why did God put that boundary up? Why did he choose to not let me have them? Perhaps he knew I would go absolutely BATTY with two kids in my life right now. Perhaps, in time, after God heals my heart and matures me, he will give me twins again. But for now, he has said, “NO” and I know it is because he loves me and is looking out for my best interest.
What boundary has God setup for you? Is it bible related or a personal boundary?