I started having extreme pain again last night. Ive only been off my antibiotics for 2 days. Last night, this morning and currently have been very difficult. This morning I said a quick prayer in tears on the way to church
Me- Jesus, i need you. The pain is unbearable. I need to hear from you today – to know you are still in this. I trust you and love you. I choose not to get mad at YOU for this. What i am experiencing is nothing compared to what you experienced on the Cross. Please, draw near to me and help me to rely on you in this confusing time.
God- (nod) hes been doing that lately to me. Weird, i know.
I got to church and worshiped through pain-filled tears. Worshiping God in pain is….interesting. Two dear friends surrounded me and prayed for me. Then the pastor stopped the service and said that, this week, they felt God say that many people are facing medical problems that arent being fixed and to have those people be prayed for at church today. To my knowledge we have never done anything like this at church- not for medical issues at least. So i went forward. Though i was eager for prayer and wanted healing, i felt God say, “Yes, get prayed for, but remember, i want you to go through this process (of finding out what is wrong with me). It is good.”
The whole worship service was about Gods healing, sovereignty, and that He holds our life in His hands. The whole service also seemed to center around us acknowledging our trust in God and His sovereignty. This service was like a big hug from God to me.
Do i dare think that God formed this prayer time at church just for me? Na, there were about 20 people who went up front for prayer too. But it wouldn’t shock me to find out that I was on Gods mind when this sunday was being created.
i called my Doc today. He called me in another prescription because the pain is just….*sigh*. I see a Specialist tomorrow.