ColleensLife

Pain is back.  But, thankfully I dont have a UTI.  Doc said he is not quite sure where to go from here.   He has ruled everything out he could think of.  His response to “Then what is wrong with me?” was “………i dont know.”   For those of you wondering if i have I.C.  He ruled that out.  But he does have two thoughts:

1. It could be eczema.   After he told me he has no clue what is wrong, somehow it came up that I have eczema.  Its a genetic skin condition where your skin itches and burns.  I have only had it on my hands.  He said that might be the problem. God i hope not.

2.  He also thinks, if its not eczema, then birthing a child could cure my issue.

In the meantime, while i wait for Gods promises about this, He gave me this song to rest in.  This song speaks of a person waiting in a dry, lonely place for the promises of God to be fulfilled in their life.  I “mistakenly” put this in my CD player thinking it was a different CD after the doc appointment today.  This song popped up.  A little love message from God to me.  Ive also posted the words to this song.

Let it Rain

Oh Im waiting in this desert
Just waiting for the rain
Oh but I wont leave this desert
Until I see the rain

And Im waiting in the wilderness
Of promises yet fulfilled
Oh but I wont leave this wilderness
Until I see the rain

Im waiting for the rain
Oh Im waiting for the rain
Im just waiting for the rain
Oh Im waiting for the rain

For I have heard the story told of a prophet who prophesied
Of the rain that would come in the middle of a drought
As a sign of the rain to come

And though years have come and years have gone
Were still waiting for the rain
Oh but I can see the clouds gathering now
Are you ready, are you ready for the rain?

Open up the heavens and let it rain, let it rain, let it rain
Open up the heavens and let it rain, let it rain, let it rain
Open up the heavens and let it rain, let it rain, let it rain
Open up the heavens and let it rain, let it rain
Just let it rain, let it rain
God let it rain, let it rain
Let it rain

I just had to share a little way of how God protects.  Why He protected me in this way on monday, I don’t know. But He did, and im thankful.  I guess God still has some work for me to do here on this Earth.

Monday I woke up and saw how horrible the snow was.  It wasn’t to bad around where I live, but the schools in my city were closed, schools were closed all over northern Ohio, and the radio personnel warned not to drive anywhere unless you absolutely had to.  I’ve seen the snow worse then it was on monday and I have driven in much worse, but I felt deep in my gut to ask my bosses permission to stay home and not drive to work.  My one work location is 40 mins away.  With snow, who knows?  Every time I attempted to get ready for work I felt stalled, along with the thought, “Get your bosses permission to stay home today.” I asked my husband about a million times his thoughts on the matter, to which each time he replied, “I dont feel comfortable with you driving.  I really think you just need to stay home.”

After contemplating back and forth in my mind for about an hour, I finally called by boss.  He insisted i stay home.

All day I faced the WORST guilt for staying home.  By 12 or so the roads cleared up, other people went to work, and the expected snow that was supposed to fall ALL day never came.  Not to mention the business I might be loosing.  Guilt ruled my day.   I nagged Brett asking him if I made the right choice to stay home. “yes” he would say.

Then why do I feel so GUILTY?!

In 10 years of work I have only ever called off 4 times.  3 times for the stomach bug and this time.

Tuesday I woke up determined to get to work regardless of weather conditions.   The weather was just fine so off I went.  After being on the Turnpike awhile, I looked  around at the snow thinking,  ”geez, its not even that deep.  I should have just went to work yesterday.”  At that moment I rounded the bend to get off the turnpike when I felt the Lord say, “I protected you.”  Along with that impression, the picture of my car spinning out and crashing in that exact spot flashed through my head.  Morbid.  I couldn’t help but wonder if I would have gotten into an accident had i gone to work the day before.

When I arrived at work and saw that we only had 6 kiddos come in that day, i felt some guilt release.  No one wanted to venture out in the weather.

I called brett telling him that I felt better about staying home since we only had 6 kids come in.  Brett then let me in on something he forgot to tell me the day before, ”Colleen, I meant to tell you yesterday that I had a horrible feeling about you driving.  That you were protected…that something bad would have happened had you drove.”

I then informed Brett what I felt GOd told me while I was driving.  Together we concluded that God had protected me the day before by keeping me from driving.

I questioned writing this blog because its kinda weird.  But the thought that i might have gotten into a bad car cash….ya know….shakes me up a bit.

Also known as religion.  Any of them.

There is something disappointing when you find out the truth about religion.  It’s kinda like when you find out the truth about Santa.  You pull the beard back, revealing that Santa was just a man with a fake beard on, putting on a show, decieving children with fake gifts filled with air all around him.  Did i mention He gets paid to do it?  When you are a child and you find this out, you feel a little sick, deceived, even angry, hurt and definitely disappointed.  Don’t get me wrong, this fake Santas’ intentions are good, but really what is happening?  Children are being lead to deception, an impostor…trying to imitate what was once a real thing.

What then is the “beard” of religion?  Feel free to read on.

This can be a tricky Blog.  Many of you may be thinking, “Wait a minute Colleen, you are a Christian!  Is not THAT a religion?”

My answer to that is:  The only parts of christianity that are religion are the parts man have made into religion.  What i have found about christianity is:  Christianity in its purest form is simply: Faith, Hope and Love . The greatest of these is Love.  What God wants most from us as His creation is to love Him first and love others.  Thats it.  But man has turned the love of God into a list of do’s, dont’s and obligations. THAT my friends, is called religion.   Its fake, its deceitful, and at times can cause much hurt in the end.  Just like the fake Santa. Pull away the list of do’s and dont’s and you will not find God behind it, you will find man.

In my years of chatting to people here and there about God and religion, ive come to find that many people lump them together as one and the same.  I used to also.    My, my, my, this is far from the truth.  God and religion couldnt be more different.  In fact, many times in the bible, God reprimands the individuals who turned the Love of God into rules and religion.  Why?  Because it’s a counterfeit to the real thing.  A true relationship with God is not governed by a set of rules and obligations.  It is governed by love, grace, and freedom.

This is how i’ve come to differentiate the two:

Religion:  Anything set forth by man and intended by man in order for man to get right with God.

Gods way: Anything set forth by God and intended by God in order for man to get right with God.

Steer clear of any religion that  makes statements like this:

“As long as you are doing all the right things and not the wrong things…God loves you more”

“As long as you are going to church…god loves you more”

“As long as……….”

“As long as………”

“As long as………”

Fill in the blank.  ITs gross.  Anything done in obligation and not of love is religion.  Its a counterfeit to Gods plan.  And its a slap in the face to what the heart of GOd is.

So what does God say about religion?

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” – James 1:27

Jesus came to bring freedom from rules and to bring grace overflowing. *sigh* more on that later….