ColleensLife

Second Grade

In second grade I decided to race the neighbor boy (Ben) down our little dead end street on our bikes.  To make the race more interesting we switched bikes.  Ben on my bike, I on ben’s bike.

Ready…set…GO!  We were off.  All the kids on the street watched and we took off as fast as we could from one end of our street to the other.

I could feel myself picking up speed as I pettled faster and faster and FASTER!  I was ahead, then he, then I…then….

THUD! The bike I was riding hit a bump.  The front wheel twisted causing the bike to come to a stuttering halt sending me flying through the air.

I dont remember the moments between my butt actually leaving the bike to lifting myself off the pavement.  I do remember all the kids running over to me with a look of horror on their face as I looked up at them.   “Oh, your face”, “Shes bleeding”,  ”Is she gonna die.” are some of the phrases I remember hearing as I covered my face and ran to my house screaming at the top of my lungs.

What had happen was I flew over my handle bars and face planted into the ground, skidding my face across the sidewalk.  I had a pretty nice scrape right down the front of my face.  The wound ran from the top of my forehead, down my nose, to the inside of my bottom lip, and chin.  I was a sight to be seen.

Covered in band aids from the top of my head to the bottom of my chin…i went to school the very next day.  Kids are cruel, even at a young age of 8.  They called me “eraser face” that year.  Why they didnt call me “band aid face” is beyond me.  Their choice was “eraser face” because the band aids all over my face reminded them of a giant eraser.

That story is why I write this blog.  I believe it was that accident that caused the septum in my nose to deviate from its original position.  Tomorrow I will be getting surgery to correct this tiny problem that is keeping me from breathing.

The story gets even more personal

This surgery has raised some hidden fears I didnt know I had.  I am afraid of anesthesia.  I fear that “cross over” moment.  I fear not waking up or becoming a vegetable. I fear being confused when I wake up.  I fear waking up during the surgery.  I fear any pain that comes with this surgery.  I fear the surgery not working.

“Jesus, can you heal my nose?”  I asked one day on my way home from work.  “Can you reset my septum in your miraculous ways.  You have healed me before of many things.  Will you do this for me?”

“Not this time Colleen.”

“What?…..Why?…………….Please?  I am afraid…..”

“Colleen, you are facing fear based off the idea that I AM not in control and that I AM not good.  Does the anesthesia decided when you come to ME or do I?  The issue isnt ‘will I heal your nose’, the issue is ‘will you, colleen, trust me with this surgery?’.  I can heal your nose, but you will still have fear.  Trust that I AM good, that I AM in control.  Rely on ME in your fears.”

And that was the first of many conversation with God I had about my fears with this surgery.  Going through this is causing me to trust Gods goodness regardless of my circumstances, feelings or thoughts.  For some reason, going through this surgery is more ‘faith building’ for me then it would be to have a miraculous healing.   God for sure cares about my end result, which is being able to breathe freely.  But what is most valuable to Him is the journey I take with Him to get to the result.   God could have miraculously healed me when I asked.   However, if He had, He and I would have  missed out on a beautiful journey through this together.

If im up to it, i will have the beautiful pictures of post surgery when i get back from the hospital.  Hopefully i will get some sleep tonight.

There are two family members of mine I just have to share with you.  They are my two nephews Even and Elijah.  Evan is 5  and Elijah just turned 1 this past weekend.  They are both my “buddies.”  I never knew I could love another human the way I love them.  It’s a different sort of love then for a spouse, or friend, or parent.  It’s not better or worse…just….different.  If ever I could peek into the heart of God to see how He feels about us….it would be my moments with them.  I love them.  I would give my life for them.  They both are little bits of joy I get to enjoy on my short life here on Earth.

Evan

Evan is the first born.  He is probably the sweetest, kindest, warm-hearted child I have ever encountered.  Nothing warms my heart more then when I see a huge smile on Evan’s face when he sees me.   I soak up the moments when he takes time to hug me.  I know those times pass quickly.  And soon, he will be 15 chasing girls.

Elijah

Elijah is my snuggle buddy.  He loves to nuzzle a blanket and curl up in your arms.  It is nice to be in Cleveland because i get to enjoy his early years.  I was in BG during Evans first years.  Elijah is happy and smiles all the time, but, when it comes down to it, he is a mammas boy.

this is Elijah, pokin’ around at his first birthday cake.

Evan is the one with no shirt and cake all over his face.  He came over and smashed his own face in Elijah’s cake (with Dads approval of course).  The beautiful gal in the middle is my sister, Christine.

Im pretty sure all of my recipes have a story behind them.   Discovering Creme-de-mint Brownies is one of my favorite stories.

I met Lena two years ago in May.  There I was, a new Eagles Nest manager, eagerly awaiting the opportunity to interview potential workers.  In walks Lena fresh out of college.  She had a fantastic interview.  She was sweet and confident.  A real team player.  A go getter. AND I would later find out…she is a fantastic cook!

Lena and I became great friends.  She was with me only a few short months as she ended up finding a job in her field.  Before she left, she said something to me that I will never forget.  She said, “I know I didn’t work for you long, but I think God allowed me to work here just so I could meet you.”  Thanks Lena.  I feel the same way about you

One day in the middle of those few months, Lena brought me a yummy surprise: Creme-de-mint Brownies.  They are a delicious chocolaty and minty treat.  It’s a brownie, topped with a minty cream, topped with melted chocolate.  I dont even like brownies, but i LOVE these ones.  Add a little green food coloring to the cream and they are perfect for your St. Patrick’s Day party.

Ingredients

1 box of brownie mix (my favorite is the chewy fudge kind)

2 cups of powdered sugar

1/4 cup butter

3 Tablespoons Butter

2 Tablespoons fat free milk

1/2 teaspoon peppermint extract

3/4 cup semisweet chocolate chips

few drops of green food coloring.

Directions

Bake the box of brownie mix and let cool.  Mix together powdered sugar, melted 1/4 cup butter, milk, peppermint, and desired color of food coloring. Spread over brownie mix.  Let thicken.

Mix together chocolate chips and the 3 tablespoons of butter.  melt in a pot on stove until chips are smooth and completely melted.  Spread over mint layer.  Let thicken and serve.  YUMMY!

To this day, Lena, her husband Brian, her daughter Brianna, and her little one growing in her womb are very dear to Brett and I.  Thank you Lena for your wonderful brownies!